Too many friends...

July 08, 2018

Too many friends...

Is there a such thing as too many friends? I don’t think so.

When I was in my early 20s and worked at my first job, I felt like my life was full (single 24 year old with a full life –ha!). I remember saying,” I don’t need any more friends.” It was hard enough to schedule my weekends with the friends I had, so my plan was to go to work and WORK, and avoid getting to know new people.

I didn’t know much about life or about working 40 hours a week, and soon I had a new group of friends (work family) to fit into my life. And 20 years later, even though we have moved to different places on the continent, those people, my CFs (clinical fellows), are still special to me. You can’t spend every single day with people in tight spaces over long hours and not care about their lives. In my 2 ½ years at Kennedy Krieger, we shared engagements, births, cancer diagnosis and other life experiences. We laughed, cried and complained to each other daily and it was special. The best thing I learned in that first job, was how to make room for people in my life.

Erika and I were friends during that CF year at KKI.
Here are our families together in Baltimore about 5 years ago.

I've worked at 7 jobs and lived in 5 homes in the last 20 years, which has been difficult for me. Don’t’ be fooled by “summer Rej”*. By nature, I’m an introvert and lover of constancy, but in those transitions, I’ve learned two important things:

These OAC ladies kept me so busy in Canada,
and taught me to walk outside in the rain.

Embrace change. It’s difficult. I’m uncomfortable with new people, places and ways of doing things, but in new experiences I’ve always learned at least one thing that has added positively to my life.
Meet new people. Even though I am sometimes drained by social interaction, as an introvert, tI often depend on a strong group of friends. I grew up with a large posse’ of cousins (framily), which made my childhood and teen years awesome. Whenever I move, I naturally seek out of group of people to hang out with. In Canada, a place where I had a lot of free time and was Winter Rej* an awful lot of the time, I was so happy that some wonderful ladies sought me out.

Now I have some perspective, and it’s been fabulous making friends and learning how to appreciate and love people who are different from me. It’s even become easier for me to say good-bye to close friends. In these days of social interaction through technology, I can reach out and share a “moment” with a friend over the internet. I even appreciate my close friendships that have shifted because of different priorities. It’s ok. Those moments that we shared were special. I know that in time, our paths may cross again. When they do, it will feel like forever has gone by and that no time has passed and we are 15 or 24 or 35 again.

*SummerRej and WinterRej are my two personalities. I live with seasonal mood disorder, but in July that "disorder" is awesome, because sunlight+exercise+happy pill = a really happy, social Rej. WinterRej likes to hangout on the couch in her PJs, reading books and eating chips.